


Size Does Matter

by frehleyballs



Category: KISS (US Band)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Kissing, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 05:49:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20059063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frehleyballs/pseuds/frehleyballs
Summary: Paul and Ace have a drunken night out, but things take an unexpected turn.





	Size Does Matter

**Author's Note:**

> *THIS FANFICTION IS A JOKE*  
sorry if u wanted actually good paul/ace content
> 
> i was reading kiss fanfics one night and noticed that ace had a massive knob in literally all of them, so i came up with this beautiful concept
> 
> please enjoy

It had long passed midnight by the time the two men came stumbling down the street from the pub they had emptied their pockets in. The only light guiding them came from the street lamps dotted along the street. They clung onto each other, partially because they would both fall if they didn't, and also because the alcohol had loosened them up.

The taller man fumbled to get his keys out of his pocket while leaning against his doorframe, while his friend stood behind him, laughing at his attempts to open his front door. He eventually got the door to his (and his parent's) house open, and the two men stumbled in while giggling like school girls. 

"Ace, we won't wake your parents, will we?", the younger of the two asked, beginning to climb the stairs to Ace's bedroom.

"Nah, don't worry Paulie, they'll probably just think you're a girl!", which was then followed by a shrill cackle.

Paul found his way up the stairs and into his friend's bedroom. A nervous feeling filled his stomach - which he partially blamed on the alcohol, but also because he was in the bedroom of the man he had been in love with since the beginning of the year. He fell onto the bed, stomach first, and turned around to see his friend made his way into the room. 

"Awh, you look pretty like that Paulie", he giggled, causing Paul to develop a deep blush. 

Ace came over and sat next to Paul on the bed, leaning against the headboard and looking down at Paul. A small smile crept across Ace's face as he looked at his friend, relishing every curve and dip in his body. Ace thought he was a truly beautiful person, both inside and out.

The pair looked into each other's eyes for a moment, both feeling a heat creep up their cheeks. Paul broke the gaze by looking over to his friend's record collection, seeing that he had accidentally left Cream's 'White Room' propped up against his turntable. He then began to look around the rest of a room, and noticed how much of a mess it was. He smiled to himself - it was better than he imagined. It even smelled like Ace, and Paul felt as if he were in heaven.

He looked back up at his bandmate, who he had noticed was still looking at him, and turned onto his back, deciding the ceiling was better scenery for thought. He wondered if he was drunk enough to forget about the night out tomorrow. He wondered if Ace was drunk enough to forget.

He looked back over to the man he cared so deeply for, and felt an overwhelming feeling of joy in his stomach. He almost felt sick, and began to worry that maybe he had drunk to much. He knew he had to confess to Ace at some point. Hopefully if it went wrong they'd both be too drunk to remember. Hopefully.

"Ace?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Can I tell you something?" 

"Sure, Curly"

Shit. Now Paul didn't know what to say. What was he supposed to say? That he was in love with him? That he thought Ace was the most amazing person hes ever met? Now he was feeling really overwhelmed - both dread and joy mixing in the pits of his stomach. 

"I think I like men", he finally said. 

"Cool. Any particular ones taking your fancy?", Ace replied in a calm tone, clearly aware that Paul was feeling uncomfortable, but secretly hoping that Paul felt the same as he did. 

"Uh, yeah actually. But he's probably straight, and I mean, c'mon, who's gonna want this in bed with them?" Paul laughed, while pointing at his own body, hoping the self-deprecation would take the weight off the conversation.

"Awh, don't say that Paulie, you're pretty as a picture!", Ace giggled in response. "Anyway, I know a few who would love you in bed with them"

The taller man winked down at his curly-haired bandmate, causing Paul to blush. 

"Who's this fella you got your eyes on then, girly? Oh god - its not Gene is it?" Ace laughed, watching Paul's face drop in horror. 

"God no! Anyway, it doesn't matter, hes only into the ladies, I think" 

"You think?"

"Well he hasn't specifically told me hes straight, and we get close a lot, like hugging, y'know?" Paul thought over his words, feeling like a teenage girl at a sleepover. 

He glanced over to Ace once more, and he couldn't help himself. He sat up, and faced opposite to the other man. How he wanted to hold him, to touch him, to kiss him. He glanced down at the other's lips, with a heat climbing up his cheeks, and moved closer to Ace, hoping he would get the message.

However, he looked to be deep in thought, staring into space. After a few seconds, he looked up to meet Paul's gaze.

"Oh, I think I know", he whispered in response to Paul's previous statement, before leaning in to connect their lips.

The kiss was tender and hesitant at first, but soon became more passionate. Paul's arms snaked around Ace's neck, while the later found himself pulling Paul closer by the waist. Paul was soon licking and kissing at Ace's neck, feeling emboldened by his partner's moans.

Things quickly escalated as the pair began discarding one another's clothes. Paul left a trail of kisses down Ace's body until he reached the hem of his underwear. The man beneath him was thrusting upwards in an attempt to gain some friction, sadly to no avail.

"I wanna give you a blowjob", stated Paul, licking his lips. Ace nodded in response.

Paul slowled peeled back his bandmate's boxers only to see his worse nightmare. His face (and erection) both dropped in horror at the sight he saw.

Paul Daniel Frehley had a micro penis.

Paul grabbed his trousers and ran to the bathroom, with Ace following behind a few moments later. He knocked on the door to try and get Paul to come out, but to no avail.

"C'mon Paul, it's not that bad! You can give the little guy a handjob", the micro-penised man cried.

"Ace, its too small for me to even give it a fingerjob!" He replied, still in shock at the sight of his bandmate's miniscule willy.

He felt sick, and he knew it wasn't because of the alcohol. He bent over the toilet just in time to empty the contents of his stomach. It didn't even have hair.

Paul flushed the toilet, and cleaned his face, before slipping back into his jeans. Ace had retreated back to his room by that point, and Paul felt it worth trying to sneak out before his lover asked for another fingerjob. He unlocked the bathroom door and ran down the stairs, and left the house. 

Paul now walked home. Drunk, shirtless, horrified Paul walked home alone at an unholy time of the morning, with images of Ace's tiny sausage flooding his mind.

He really did hope he drank enough to forget that night, after all.


End file.
